Posted by: sean | July 11, 2009

Stay classy, ya Beirut

LebanonFlag - dollarI currently live in the nicest apartment I’ve ever rented, but it’s still no villa in Hazmiyah or duplex in Ramlet al-Bayda. Recently, a new couple has moved in above us on the seventh floor, which means that there have been some parking complications (which  usually means their Jeep Cherokee is taking up their parking spot as well as ours, so that we end up blocking them in with an 80s model Honda Civic or Datsun) and we’re now constantly submitted to the torture that is the tic-tac of stilettos on a tile floor at all hours of the night. The husband is a former ambassador (to where, I’m not sure), and his wife teaches something or other at the Lebanese University.

The other day, one of my roommates was working on his car on the ground out of sight, when Madame el-Brofessor from upstairs came down to get into her Jeep with her friend:

Madame el-Brofessor: Have you seen these cars? Shou hayda, what is this?

Tante: Ouf, mish ma3oul, unbelievable! I bet they’re even manual!

Madame el-Brofessor looking into the Datsun: Yeah they are!

Both women laugh. And then my roommate looks up and surprises them to say hi. They nervously jump into the  elevator to avoid the embarassment. La classe, il paraît, ne s’achète pas.


  1. Haha, I love it!

    Kiss immon and their stilletos..

    You should key their Cherokee.

  2. Anjad! And they never seem to be able to close the elevator door after themselves, so it’s always stuck on the 7th floor.

  3. haha, unbelievably funny.

  4. I feel somehow inferior now. Maybe we should get wheel caps and a spoiler for the Datsun and make it smell of Chanel NO.5.

  5. You know.. we have a whole neighbourhood in Montréal called Ville-Saint-Laurent that’s so full of these chanel 5 ja3ja3ites that it’s nicknamed Ville-Saint-Liban. If either one of you comes here I’ll take you for a tour.. there’s even a resto that looks like a transplant from East-Beirut in the 1980’s… Red lipstick, Drakkar Noir, crosses bigger than the one Jesus carried…

  6. “I bet they’re even manual” <– they really said that? wow….

  7. on a second thought, i apologize but i no longer will check your blog.. i mean you drive a manual datsun… :S :P

  8. Thanks for the comments, guys.

    Liliane, I don’t even drive the Datsun, I only ride shotgun, so that makes me even more shaabi!

    Ya Nizo: I’ve always wanted to go to Montreal, so hopefully, one day I’ll take you up on the offer. I think, though, that we’ll have to limit our intake of expat Lebanesey wazwaz, though.

    Siad: I’m in, but only if we can paint some flames down the side!

  9. The car stays the same… shawki b 3oynon..
    We torture the neighbor with endless low class people envading the apartment and we set the Cherokee on fire!! …
    Long live my Datsun!!


  10. you should put a picture of the Datsun though man..

  11. yes, i agree.
    can we get a picture posted of this “eyesore” ?

  12. We want Datsun
    We want Datsun!

  13. Yalla, Siad has my camera, but this afternoon, we can take a picture of it and post it in all its glory!

    Also, for those who are interested, it turns out Ustez as-Safir and Madame el-Brofessor don’t live together. She has the 7th floor of the building, and he has the 8th, whereas their poor Filipina maid has to constantly commute between the two abodes.

  14. […] a wedding in Jordan, so I  haven’t been able to post much, but I do have an update on the Datsun, which might get its own guest post soon due to its unintentional involvement in a police […]

  15. […] lot of my local supermarket. The security guard took the wand and walked to the side of the car, the famed Datsun, and as I was getting ready to keep driving as I’ve done hundreds of times before, he […]

  16. […] Porsches are stuck in the same as the Hamra-Dora bus, the service full of domestic workers and the downtrodden Datsun. No amount of wasta or ill-gotten dollars is going to get you from Achrafieh to Ramlet al-Bayda any […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: